Don’t you appreciate a decoration that serves beyond its intended purpose? Toss a used Christmas tree in the lake to enhance fish habitats. Balled-up wrapping paper provides pointless entertainment for the cat and its human owners. Jack-o-lanterns, looking pathetic rather than frightening after Halloween, can be composted for sunny springtime gardens. 

 Once Autumn arrives, and the air conditioner and fans are silenced and replaced with cozy blankets and spicy apple cider, you may notice cobwebs and dirt clinging to the ceiling fans. I don’t understand how this happens since you’d think a whirling fan would blow off surface dust. An excellent idea for the lighting manufacturers would be a self-cleaning ceiling fan, but I’m not on their payroll to offer my wise counsel. I’ll happily accept a commission, though.

Since there’s no way around ignoring the filth on a ceiling fan other than keeping the lights dim, you’ll need to drag out the ladder, paper towels, and cleaning solution to dust off that darn fixture. You may as well make it fun by adding a cheap, clever, and recycled Halloween decoration.

 While the fixture is drying, grab masking tape, a black Sharpie, and pieces of string cut to approximately 12 inches. Tightly ball up a small piece of used paper towel and wrap another one, about the size of a luncheon napkin, around the ball form to create a ‘ghost body.’ Yes, some dirty paper apparitions will be a dingy gray, but it will lend authenticity to graveyard spooks.

  Tie a piece of string around its ‘neck’ but leave most of the string to dangle the ghost from the fan. Use the Sharpie to dab a couple of eyes on the ghost figure. Get back on the ladder and tape a ghost on the top end of each fan blade, being careful that the string isn’t too short or long to get caught in the blades and ruin your fan. I don’t want to get blamed for mishaps and create an unnecessary repair or a new fixture purchase.  We’re trying to be cheap here; Christmas is right around the corner, after all. 

Turn the fan on slow speed to get the best spooky effect. Bonus if you cast eerie lights and play creepy music. It will delight trick-or-treaters, party guests, or for your own amusement when you’re huddled under a cozy blanket watching scary movies and eating leftover Halloween candy. Use the excess paper towel ghosts that aren’t too grungy to wipe down the chocolate smears off the couch and floor, and be pleased with your clever self.